Reasons Why Liking the Strife Brothers is Wrong
by Musical Enigma
Summary: A story told from the love struck views of misters Riku, Axel and Leon. Chapter Three: In which Axel can't skate, Leon can't fight, and Riku can't think
1. For Starters

**The Reasons Why Liking the Strife Brothers is Wrong.**

A story told from the love struck views of misters Riku, Axel and Leon.

Author: _Musical Enigma_

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Note: Hope you like this... I'm going to try and work on this and Mandrel Mishaps concurrently, but I need motivation too...*coughreviewcough*

Chapter One: In which Riku oogles, Axel kidnaps, and Leon is defeated.

**For Starters**

**He's my best friend.**

This means many things. For one, he trusts me like no other. Secondly, we know everything (and I mean everything) about each other. Thirdly, he knows what to do when I'm sad, angry, drowning, etc. The list continues on and on, but in total, it comes down to a single, simple point.

You do not tell your best friend that you just might happen to fancy him.

A lot.

Since oh…three years ago?

Nope, that is clearly a no-no. Against the law of friendship. A giant blinking red light telling you to STOP, because hell, you might just get hit by a large, not-too-friendly truck if you even hesitate to halt.

Besides, I'm a guy.

He's a guy.

Something tells me that this would all go terribly, terribly wrong if I so much as hint that I enjoy his company a bit more than I should.

Or that his hair is always silky smooth, no matter how hazardous it looks.

Or that said hair always seems to smell like the ocean.

Or that his eyes are like the ocean as well, a deep and unforgettable blue.

No way, not mentioning any of that. Heck, I probably should just stop thinking like that too. You know, just in cast some of the islanders happens to have…oh, mind reading powers? Yeah, I'm definitely not thinking about how flawless his tanned skin is, or how boyish, yet developed he still looks. And I am most certainly not noticing how mesmerizing he is as he runs out of the water, with bits of ocean clinging to his body.

"Rikuuuu, come play with meee!"

Oh Sora, you sly dog, what kind of game do you have in mind? Because I certainly have a few…

"What?" I ask, slightly dazed.

"I saaaid," the brunette (though, his hair has gotten significantly lighter from the blitzball dome chlorine and the summer sun) whined, bending over and successfully getting me sopping wet. "Come." He tugs at my limp arms. "Play." Another tug, which is just as futile. I really do need a towel now. "With Me!" he lets out a final cry, but instead of getting me up, like I assume he was attempting to do, my dear buddy ends up flailing and falling into my lap with a giggle.

Scratch the towel; I do believe my outfit needs a date with the washing machine.

"What was that?" I tease, wrapping my arms around the sopping wet boy's torso and poking him in the stomach. He hits my hands lightly, but ends up playing with my fingers instead.

"Meanie." He comments in a low voice. I chuckle lightly, poking him again.

"Rikuuu, stooooop!" He whines, squirming slightly. I do as he says, allowing him to play with my fingers some more. Sora…if you only knew how much power your insistent, whiny little butt has over me.

Not that I'm thinking about his tush.

Oh no, not me, I'm a good boy!

Silence ensues for a few seconds until I'm suddenly bombarded with a mass of light brown, nearly passing for dirty blonde, mushy spikes forming into my shoulder. I give into my guilty pleasure and inhale in his scent.

You know, to uhm, avoid the fact that his slowly drying body (compliments of my clothes) is pressed up against mine…I should have really not worn a shirt for…you know, recreational purposes! Yes! As a matter of fact, clothes in general are overrated, we should totally just—

"Hey Riku?" Sora asks rather sleepily. I'm grateful that he cannot see the blush that I'm positive currently paints my face.

"Hmm?" I give the signal that I'm listening.

"I've been thinking, next year will be our last year of high school."

"Mhmm?" I mutter, taking peeks at the boy, no, man (he'll be seventeen next month, after all) – as he talks with his eyes closed. So trusting and adorable, I can't help but feel the urge to squeeze him as hard as I can, if only to show that he's mine.

But he's not.

"And after that, we'll be off to college." A small frown appears upon his face.

"Right?" I reply hesitantly, not liking where the conversation is going if it means making Sora unhappy.

"And after that, we'll go on and have jobs and families and stuff."

"Sure." I reply with a shrug. A family, there's something I could never give him.

He cranes his neck to try to look at me, shifting his body to an angle. I still hold onto him, my heart rate increasing at the minimal distance between us. Oh, how I long to fill that gap!

"I just need to know…if even after all of that and stuff, we'll still be friends?"

The look of pure innocence is in his eyes, those blue eyes that match the ocean behind him perfectly. He's almost fearful…why are you afraid, Sora? Are you afraid of losing me?

No…no, you're afraid of losing your best friend.

It's the best I can ever be.

So I give a smile to cover up whatever I might be feeling inside. I don't even know what I'm feeling inside, at this point. I mess up his hair in a playful and casual way, loving the feel of it between my fingers.

"You know you can never get rid of me, no matter how hard you might try." I say easily. A small smile comes onto his face. Not the giant one he gives when he's happy, or the easy one he gives when he's calm and mellow. No, this smile is mine. I know that I'll cry the day that he gives it to another person.

"Good. I'd never want to get rid of you anyways." He mutters, trying to scowl as he fixes his hair. It doesn't work, since he still has that smile on his face. It's a good attempt though.

After properly fixing his hair (which, in reality, did nothing at all) he pushes himself up and turns to me.

"I'm going back in the water. You wanna come?" He offers his hand, but I shake my head.

"I'm wet enough, thanks." I motion to my lovely clothing. Sora laughs in his unique way, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand.

"Sorry." He says with a grin. It isn't my smile, but it still makes me happy.

"I'll watch you though, to make sure you don't drown." I say off-handedly with a smirk.

"Gee, what a life saver." Sora says sarcastically, sticking his tongue out at me. He's a lifeguard at a public pool on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so keeping himself afloat is hardly a thought.

"What are friends for?" I tease. Sora laughs and runs back to the water.

Right…friends.

Best friends, for that matter.

Best friends of the same sex.

Liking your best friend is wrong.

It's like staring at their ass while they run into the water, their slightly large board shorts showing mere centimeters of un-tanned skin…which I am totally not doing, by the way.

**He hates me…at the moment.**

But seriously now, no one can stay mad at me for all too long. I'm simply too irresistible.

I must admit, however, that dear Roxas is setting a fine record at the moment…

Oh Roxie, you fox, this obviously means you want me more!

…Right?

So here I sit, happily waiting for my gorgeous blue-eyed fantasy to emerge from the supply closet, so then I can scoop him up into my arms and carry him off where we can live together forever happily ever after.

Speaking of scoops…there's a line of angry customers building at the register. The annoying little bell that is the death call to employees is being hit mercilessly. Oh poor bell, we knew thee well! Damn these people are impatient. It's just ice cream!

"Can I get some SERVICE over here?"

"I'd like to speak to the manager!"

"This is no way to treat your customers."

Keeping an eye on the door, I slowly inch back to my post behind the counter and swipe the irritating bell away before anyone else can hit it. The man in front of me looks like he could probably skip the ice cream, if I do say so myself. But alas, I am a simply worker to the capitalistic world of the mall ice cream shop. And as my bosses have told me: "Axel, you are a working stiff, thus, you have no opinion here."

This obviously translates to: "Axel, you're the greatest ever and I'd give anything to have you!" Alas, I must always put my blonde angel before these pleas and reply with a stern: "As much as you may claim to love me, my heart is with another." A real heartbreaker, I am.

So I scoop out the triple chocolate fudge whatever into a cone and receive five dollars in return. The magical munny machine before me eats the cash and spits out change, and the process continues. Constantly, I glance back to the closet to make sure Roxas hasn't left yet.

Not that I want him in there forever, I just like to, you know, keep an eye on him. Like a pet. I hear you can put GPS trackers in moogles and stuff…maybe I can get one for Roxie?

Another three orders and I glance back to see, quite to my surprise, that the supply closet door is open and Roxas is sprinting from the store.

I curse loudly, throwing the ice cream I was holding out to some lady straight into her face. I grab a sea salt ice cream from its hidden spot, because I'd never see Roxas if I didn't have any of the popsicle treats, and sprint after him. Luckily, I have long legs and the kid doesn't get too far before I've tackled him to the ground just outside the mall.

"AXEL, WHAT THE HELL?" He yells straight into my ear. Despite the fact that people are walking in and out of the mall giving us the oddest of looks, I'd say that this plan gets a gold star!

"You forgot your sea salt ice cream. You never forget it." I smile, waving the treat in front of his face. He doesn't grab it, which I soon realize is due to the fact that my whole body is covering his petite one. I take this chance of his immobilization to rub my face in his soft, short blonde spikes that smell fruity. Like strawberries.

Haha, Roxas is a fruit!

"Axel…" Roxas says slowly, his voice shaking.

"Yes darling?" I ask sweetly, hoping that he won't hurt me all too badly.

"GET OFF ME NOW!" He yells into my ear once again. I jump off him in a heartbeat when he starts yelling obscure and odd things such as 'I'm being molested!' and 'rape!"

It's not rape, dear, it's surprise sex. Like…surprise! I'm inside youuu…

I stand up and offer a hand out to my love, but he scowls and snatches the ice cream instead, peeling off the wrapper and sticking the treat into his mouth in mere seconds. Then he just sits there, in the middle of incoming and outgoing mall-traffic. Babe, you are brave. After a minute, I sit cross-legged beside him, leaning in forward and smiling at my accomplishment of having Roxas within arms distance and not being punched, kicked, mauled and / or yelled at.

He really is amazing.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" He finally asks with a raised eyebrow, the popsicle in his hand melting slowly until a quick, pink tongue scoops up the offending drips. I'm terribly jealous of a popsicle at the moment.

"Huh?" I ask, knowing for a fact that Roxas had made words form from those blue tinted lips, but what the words were is beyond me.

"I said, shouldn't you be working? I mean, it's summer. I bet the ice cream shop is a zoo." He repeats. I grin widely.

"Oh Roxas, you do care!" I exclaim, ready to wrap my arms around the boy. A palm to my forehead stops the action, however.

"No, Axel, I don't care whether or not you lose your job. I'm simply posing a question." Roxas states, sticking the blue ice into his mouth again.

"Well it's the thought that counts." I smile. Roxas simply stares.

"What is wrong with you? You're creepy." Roxas says after another few licks from the ice treat.

"Whatever do you mean, my sweet?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"You're all…weird. And stalker-y." He says after a moment of contemplation.

"Stalker-y isn't a word." I retort.

"Whatever! You know what I mean!" He cries out in exasperation, flinging his popsicle stick at some poor passerby who happened to be entering the mall.

"Well, it just so happens that I am enamored with a short," Roxas scowls at this comment, "blonde, cute, blue-eyed individual. So enamored, that I seem to be unable to think of anything or anyone else." I smile slightly, in a dreamy manner. Roxas just stares some more, the scowl fading into a blank line.

"You're weird." He states, getting up and dusting his jeans off. I stand up with him. "Why do you always say weird stuff like that? It's…unnatural." He frowns.

"Because I love you." I say simply. I'm almost positive it's true, I mean, love at first sight. It happens. Happened to me a year or so ago at the same ice cream parlor I work at today. I wasn't an employee at the time, but I had offered to buy the kid ice cream. He was weary at first, but he agreed. It wasn't until later, when I so subtly grabbed his ass that Roxas screamed and ran off yelling about pedophiles.

Ah, how sweet, young love!

"Listen." Roxas says, glancing around frantically as if someone might mug him for my words. Fear not Roxie, for I shall protect thee from all harm! "Stop saying that. It's not normal. It's creepy."

"But it's true." I say cheekily.

"Yeah, no." He says.

"I think I know what I feel, Roxie."

"…Roxie? Whatever, point is that you think wrong. I don't know what it is you want from me, but stay away! I'll give you munny…whatever! Whatever you want that will make you leave me alone!" He says frantically. I raise an eyebrow. Well, this is new.

"I could never leave you alone, I lo—" I'm cut off by Roxas slapping his hand over my mouth and looking around in a paranoid manner. I lick his palm, tasting some remains of the sea salt ice cream that had dripped there. He pulls his hand away, cradling it out of my reach.

"Listen, just…stop doing that. You don't even know me!"

"Sure I do. You're Roxas. You have two brothers, one of whom is your twin. You love sea salt ice cream, have three best friends, and accidentally killed your goldfish last month. You hate seagulls and pomegranates; you're allergic to cats and are pretty good at skateboarding." I recite.

"You forgot to mention that I hate you." Roxas frowns.

"Oh Roxie, darling, how you break my heart!" I cry in an overdramatic manner, clutching at my chest and falling to my knees. A few people passing by send me a few glares, but I ignore them in favor of Roxas's reaction.

"Axel…how do you even know those things?" He cries out, a hand running through his hair the way that he does when he's frustrated.

"You've told me here and there." I reply honestly. It's not as if I stalk the kid! I'd surely be arrested for that.

Roxas is silent for a minute, simply looking at me through his blue eyes that I've come to love. I remain on my knees for sheer fearfulness that he might kick me in the face if I make any sudden movements. Trust me, it's happened before.

"You…you listened to all of that?" He asks quietly. I nod, unsure if this is a good or bad thing. "You…are a freak." I sadden slightly, not liking the word all too much coming from his sweet mouth, "but…" he runs a hand through his hair again, "I don't know."

"Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't know." He repeats, then turns and walks away. I get up and run after him, shoving a piece of paper into his hand. He pauses and looks at me confused.

"Call me when you do know." I say with a shit-eating grin. Then I peck him on the cheek.

Later, I'm sitting with a bag of sweet peas covering my left eye. Man, Roxas sure packs a punch! But yanno…it was totally worth it.

**He doesn't know I exist.**

Every morning, I hear him rummaging in the kitchen as he prepares the best smelling meals for his younger siblings. Shortly after, he shoves the two twins out the door with a hug and lets them run wild around the island, since its summer. Not too long afterwards, I hear the water running as he takes his routine morning shower. After that, he runs to work, sharing the same tardiness that plagues his brothers, for they are always late to school.

Every evening, he comes home and the water is running again as he takes another shower. Soon, the sound of obnoxious running down the hall plagues the apartments as the boys return home, sometimes with friends and other times on their own. The delicious cooking is smelt again and later in the night, the sound of the television is heard ever so lightly, as if he is afraid to wake the neighbors.

Everyday it's the same routine. I can't help but listen for the sound of the soft television at night or running water around five p.m., which is when he comes home. I wonder sometimes if he gets bored of the same routine, day in and day out. But I never ask him.

Hell, the most I've ever seen of him is the occasional glimpse of blonde hair and hard blue eyes as he passes my door on the way out of the building.

That was all it took for me to fall for the strange individual I know as my neighbor.

Not that I know him…I don't even know his name.

This fact, and this fact alone, was killing me slowly.

Therefore, it is my plan to finally talk to this individual and find out his name once and for all. All I want is a name…that's all. See? I'm not all that demanding…

So I suppose the question you have right now is 'well then…why don't you go do that? Why haven't you done that?' Well, there's a catch.

There's always a catch.

I call this 'catch' Yuffie. The child from hell who has decided to be my official roommate, the annoying individual who loves to sing her own songs that don't even rhyme, the self-proclaimed ninja who threatens chipmunks, my cousin who cannot properly work a toaster.

This is Yuffie, and she is my catch.

See, if I did ask my neighbor his name, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his favorite pos—tal office, little Miss Yuffie would be right there behind me, asking him if he'd seen any of her 'ninja-skills' or if he happened to know where I hid the remote.

I really could not stand it if, after months of preparation to try and meet my beautiful neighbor, Yuffie comes and ruins it by throwing our 'prejudiced' toaster at his head or 'accidentally' embedding her kunai into his stomach or biting him so he'll get rabies or running with scissors and stabbing his eye out or bumping him out his own third story window…

The list goes on and on, with a large variety of injuries and casualties.

I wish to meet my neighbor, not have him sue me.

So then, why do I prepare so much if I only wish to know his name? Simply to avoid and Yuffie encounters. I figure that once I know his name, I'll be satisfied. I'll be able to do things like a normal person again and lead a regular life without the nameless blue eyed, blonde haired angel next door.

Everything can go back to normal if I just know his name.

I woke up in the morning to discover that today is the day. Today, I shall meet my neighbor and fix my life once and for all. I have it all planned out, too. I sent Yuffie to the store a half hour ago with fifty dollars and a slingshot. That should amuse her for a few hours. I only need a few minutes, but extra time won't hurt me.

I hear the shower go off in the apartment next to mine and I begin to mentally prepare myself. Just go over there, say hi, shake hands and leave. That's all. Normal people do it all the time.

Ten minutes later, I'm standing in front of my neighbor's door, unsure of what to do. Let's see…most people might…call inside? Maybe I should have called first, wait no, I don't have a telephone number. What do I…ah, there's a door in the way.

Oh well, mission failed. Let's go home.

I spin quickly on my heel to leave –what in the world possessed me to do something like this?– but instead I only end up running face-first into my darling cousin. Said darling cousin with a wicked grin and…are those scissors in her hand?

"Yuffie…" I say slowly, like one might do when trying to negotiate with a starving lion in the savannah. Unfortunately, do to language barriers, those experiences do not end out pleasantly, more often than not. Yuffie and I may speak English, but the sentences always seem to be a few words constantly lost in translation.

'No' happens to be one of these words.

"Squalliee…" Yuffie replies, a cat-like grin crossing her features. I frown, pinching my nose between two fingers.

"Yuffie…what are you doing here?" I ask calmly.

"Weeeell, I was walking down to the store to buy fruit loops like you said but then I ran into some short blonde kid running from a freakishly tall redheaded one so I gave the redhead some munny so that he wouldn't have to stalk younger children for drugs. Then I was back en route to the store and a giant llama crossed the road and Squallie, you know how I love llamas, so I went to go pet it but it spit on me. But it was magical spit and when I woke up I was all lost and alone in the desert until I met a gypsy queen riding on a camel and I paid her the rest of the munny so I could come home…and here I am!" She exclaims in an overly excited manner. I think I might have to check her for some of those drugs she was talking about…

"The question is, dearest cousin, what are YOU doing here?" She asked with a smirk. I know that smirk. She knows exactly what I'm doing here…damn it.

"I live here." I say casually.

"In the hall right outside dear Cloudy-kins door?" Yuffie raises an eyebrow. I stare back at her without emotion.

Cloudy-kins?

"Clo—"

But before I can finish my sentence, the door behind me swings open and hits me in the back of the head. I fall to the ground and the world goes black.

I open my eyes with a groan. My head is throbbing madly and everything is so…so bright.

And loud. Very, incredibly loud.

"Wuh…?" I try to say something, but notice that my mouth is dry. Blinking a few times, I try to figure out what Yuffie could have possibly done to me.

I mean, it has to be her. It's always her who puts me into states of massive injury.

Then I notice a few very important facts. Such as how the curtains are missing, the television has been moved, the large black mark from where Yuffie set the wall on fire is gone and the room smells like honey.

Then it hits me:

Someone came into my apartment, knocked me out and cleaned, rearranged the furniture, then ran off with the curtains!

"YUFFIE!" I yell, in sudden fear for my cousin. "WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!"

It isn't until after I shout this out that I realize that she probably thought to rob the house. It is something she would do, after all.

"Oh, you're awake."

A monotone voice fills my ears and I quickly decipher that this voice is most definitely not Yuffie. I turn my head towards the source, but receive a major rush from the action.

Oh…world spinning…wheeeee…

"Ugh…" I say intelligibly.

"Sorry…I usually don't hit people with doors on a scheduled basis." The voice speaks again.

Doors? Oh right…you were in front of a door. Your neighbor's door…then Yuffie…and so…

Wait…

"You're my neighbor!" I cry in triumph.

An awkward silence fills the room. Smooth Leon, smooth.

"Uhm yeah…my name is Cloud."

Cloud…Cloudy-kins?

I turn my head slower this time to view my attacker (unintentionally so, but true) and see the full view of Cloud. His eyes are a pure blue, crystalline and hard, his hair softly spiked and blonde, his body thin, with defined features and…just…

Remember when I said that I'd be just dandy if I could only know his name? Well, I lied.

I want soooo much more.


	2. Additionally

**The Reasons Why Liking the Strife Brothers is Wrong.**

A story told from the love struck views of misters Riku, Axel and Leon.

Chapter Two: In which Leon is a fire hazard, Riku loves corn, and Axel witnesses bad spelling.

Author: _Musical Enigma_

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Note: I'm hoping to get this story up and running and finished sometime this summer. So if you wish for this to happen as well, there's something you—yes, you!—can do to help. Can you think of what that could be? Starts with an R….e-v-i-e-w.

**Additionally.**

**The Younger Ones Are Out to Get Me.**

Okay, so I've never properly met them, but I have a feeling they know what I'm up to.

I'm not all that paranoid, really, but the looks I get from those two are heart stopping—and not in a good way. They'll walk by during their normal hours, but now they turn their heads in unison like they're the stars of a horror film and send their evils my way. There have even been a few times when I'll wake up and find them already there, just staring in that spooky fashion. It's very creepy, especially since there's a door between us so I can't even be seen.

How do they know I'm there?

It's early in the morning, yet here they are, right on schedule around the time Cloud goes to work. I have a feeling that the snot nosed brats have yet again blocked my vision from seeing him off. Or having a possible chance meeting. I sigh, turning away from the distorted view of the twins from my peephole just as the darker haired one decides to show me the inside of his nostril.

What on earth are they doing! Don't they know that they're blocking the most important view of my otherwise mundane life? I let out a low growl. I hear a smack of wood meeting flesh and a muffled sound of pain as Yuffie limps into my peripheral vision.

"What's wrong, pooch?" She asks, subtly hiding the fact that she just rolled into the coffee table.

I grunt.

"Are we out of cheerios?"

Grunt.

"Cause you're not cheery."

I don't bother to grant this a response.

"Did you find your watch?"

I didn't know my watch is lost. I'll have to check into that…

"Did you not see Cloud?"

I hesitate at this before turning back to the peephole. I receive a view of one startling blue eye that seems to be trying to shove itself through the protected glass. I grimace.

"They'll be gone soon," Yuffie states matter-of-factly.

I nod in agreement before pausing. Wait a second…

"What do you mean?" I ask slowly, preparing myself for a headache and feelings of homicide as I turn around slowly to meet the eyes of my cousin. She rolls her eyes in an exaggerated manner and kicks the couch on some whimsical impulse.

"Welllllll," she draws out, "I told Sora and Roxas how obviously smitten you are with their brother and how you watch him like clockwork and they said something like 'wow that's really super creepy' and 'peeping tom' and 'no more ceiling fans' and 'finger painting' so we went on an adventure and…"

I tune Yuffie out as mild panic sets in. What if they had told Cloud? I haven't talked to the older Strife since our first encounter (I've yet to figure out a topic of conversation, though I did have an idea about something to do with the weather…). What if they told him that I'm some creeper? Then he'll never talk to me, even if I do find something to talk about!

My panic turns full-blown. I need to talk to Cloud!

Yuffie, having given up on maintaining my attention with her thrilling story, heads into the kitchen, a sign of imminent danger and destruction, but I ignore it with a leap to the door. Maybe there was some hope Cloud was still home. Maybe I could save the situation at hand. I swing the door open and two boys tumble into my apartment.

Oh, right. I nearly forgot about them.

Taking their confusion in stride, I jump over them and make a dash for the apartment next to mine. Then I stop. Maybe I'm being rash. What if the boys had told Cloud I'm some sort of weird stalker? Then there was a huge possibility that the man didn't even want to see me. Maybe that's why he hasn't stopped by for a spot of tea or whatever people do together. Play monopoly? Whatever.

I'm pulled from my moody thoughts by two rather heavy bodies tackling me. My face gives the ground a personal and painful 'good morning' as all the air is pushed from my lungs. My head spins and I hear the two boys bickering, something about dinner and pajamas. I close my eyes in hopes of easing my pounding head. Not a minute passes before I feel something poking the side of it.

"I think he's dead." I hear one of my attackers say. My guess is that it's the darker haired one.

"Nice plan, dorkus. Now Cloud's going to kill _us._"

I feel weight lifted from my back and let in a deep breath of air that I didn't know I'd been missing. My head feels light and dizzy, but in a good, alive sort of way.

"Oh good, he's breathing."

I turn my head to face the boy. Sure enough, it's the darker haired one. I let out a groan.

"Hello there mister Squall sir, I'm Sora, Cloud's brother. And that's Roxas," he points out his twin who is standing off to the side with his arms crossed like he had nothing to do with my current state. I let out a noise and the boy, Sora, takes this as a sign to continue, "Anyhow, Cloud told us all about you and how it'd be cool if you'd come to dinner or something but your door doesn't have a ringer so we've kind of just been waiting for you to come out. Don't you have a life? I mean sheesh, who never leaves their room?"

A part of me is a bit offended—I have lots of important work to do in the confines of my apartment—and another part of my mind wonders where on earth my doorbell could have disappeared to—it was there last time I checked—but the last, most important remainder of my brain tells me that Cloud has been waiting to see me. Me!

Not that I'm excited or anything. I expected something like this to happen. It was only a matter of time.

"Where's my doorbell?" I ask, caught up in the rush of events.

The brothers exchange a look and decide not to answer my inquiry.

"Would you do our brother the honor of joining us for dinner tonight?" the not-as-hyper boy asks in a sarcastic manner. At least I think it's sarcastic. He rolled his eyes saying it. I'm really not up-to-date on all these new kid things.

I stare at the boys, suddenly wondering if this is some sort of prank. Maybe it's some devious plan to get away with stealing my doorbell and letting Yuffie alone in the kitchen. My heart sinks a bit before I remember something rather crucial.

Yuffie! Alone! Kitchen!

I spring into action, but in turning to my apartment I can already sense it is too late. Billows of black smoke plume out from the open door and wonder why the fire alarm hasn't gone off yet. As if on cue, sirens begin to wail and the sprinklers go off above our heads. Doors begin to open with people rushing out panicked, and in the madness, I lose track of the Strife boys.

I wonder if Yuffie escaped whatever she did to destroy the kitchen as I'm rushed out of the complex into the streets as we wait for the firemen to come. There are a lot of people glaring my way; it's not the first time this has happened. I scowl and avert my eyes. They land on the one person I've been both hoping and dreading to see.

"Hey." The eldest Strife smiles and walks casually over to me, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he shakes his head in disbelief. "Can you believe it? This is the third time this month! What idiot keeps blowing up their microwave?"

I wonder how bright Cloud is to not notice that the smoke has been coming from the apartment right across from his these three times this month, but I guess I have reasonable deniability. I let out something of a grin, wondering if this is something friends do. But just as I'm about to avoid all blame, Yuffie skips up to me, a smile on her face and a spoon in her hand.

"Look what I did!" She beams, pointing to the smoky building. Cloud gives us both a look of surprise and I pinch my nose between my fingers, trying to remember what they taught me in anger management classes and breathe deeply.

"My sort of idiot, I suppose." I answer Cloud with what I imagine is naught but despair in my eyes. There is an awkward moment of silence, but it is broken by Cloud's soft laughter. I look up from where I'd been burning a hole in the ground with my eyes, shocked.

"Uhh…?" I ask intelligibly, but his mirth is unstoppable and soon he's wiping tears from his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry," he gasps out, cleaning himself messily with the back of his hand. The fire department, quick to do their thing, soon lets everyone back into the building and I find myself walking in companionable silence beside Cloud. Well, mostly companionable silence. He keeps jerking into a fit of giggles every so often and I can't decide whether to be offended or to smile at his endearing emotions.

I make it to my door, but a hand grabs my wrist and I look at it in shock. Finally looking to the owner of the hand, I see he too has been gazing at his limb as if surprised as well. We stand there for a moment and I wonder how his hand is so incredibly soft. But finally I realize that I'm going to have a lot of work ahead of me and push him to do…whatever it is he is doing quicker with a soft "yes?"

"Uh…I don't know if the boys got around to telling you but—"

"They tackled me." I state blandly.

"Yeah well—they what?" I shrug and he eyes me curiously before continuing, "anyhow would you like to join us for dinner tonight?"

I'm about to answer but once again my cousin decides to pop in at the most inopportune moment.

"He has to clean up the mess like a good little housewifey" she says solemnly, as if I were the one that created the gigantic explosion in our home.

Cloud pout a bit and without thinking I blurt out, "but if you're free tomorrow I could make dinner for just the two of us!"

The other man raises an eyebrow and hesitantly smiles, getting the gist of what I said regardless of the horror it brings to grammar lovers everywhere.

"Ok." He says with a small smile and steps forward. I feel tempted to take a step back, but something in his eyes holds me in place. Then very slowly, he leans forward and places a small peck on my cheek. "See you tomorrow."

**His Twin Hates Me.**

I can quite honestly say I've never been on the receiving side of such a long glare in my life. Not even when I accidentally pushed Sora from a tree (and broke his arm…) did I get such treatment.

Then again, Sora has always been more of a pouter than a glare-er. He just doesn't have it in him. I blame genetics really; his cheeks are much too chubby and lips always a bit too puffy because he has this awful habit of gnawing on the bottom one and oh dear…

I'm staring again, aren't I?

From the mixed look of utter shock and hatred, I can tell that Roxas has indeed been watching me watch his brother. I hesitate, trapped by a different set of blue eyes. They too are very much unlike Sora's eyes. Roxas's eyes draw you in to the black pupil; into the seething storm brewing in his temperamental soul. Sora's eyes draw you out, away from the dark. They bring out his bright personality and sunny spirit.

I chance a look back to double check my facts, and most certainly not because he's giving that exasperated look and running a hand through that soft hair which makes his shrunken shirt lift just barely so that a sliver of tanned skin is showing and—

A slap to the cheek brings me out of my inner monologue with a refined "Ack!"

"Stop undressing my brother you creeper."

"I'm not!" I shout at the same time Sora lets out a flustered "He's not!" Roxas rolls his eyes and crosses his arms; the universal sign for 'Please, I'm not stupid. Rather, you are.' I reply with an equally subtle display of my middle finger. Sora lets out an adorable whine that brings our attentions back to him.

"I know you guys don't get along, but can we _please_ just get through this without any bodily damage?"

"Fine" Roxas huffs.

"Oh, today is a day that shall go down in infamy. Children will sing of this peaceful Thursday in June whence love conquered all," I smile cheekily, gathering both boys in my arms. Roxas deals me a punch to the ribs and I release him with a slight wheeze. I swear to almighty heaven above I will kill that stupid little—

And then Sora, with his eyes so wide and innocent looks up at me with a face of concern. His tongue slips out to whet his lips before whispering something. I nod dumbly, following that darting pink tongue. He looks up at me expectantly, as if waiting for more. I feel my eyes widen significantly.

I think he wants me to kiss him.

Sora pouts a little, narrowing his brows slightly. Out darts that tongue again as his lips move once more. He gnaws on his bottom lip while he tries to smile. It is the cutest expression in the world. An utterly moronic and goofy grin slips across my face.

He does want me to kiss him!

I swoop down to capture his lips in mine, to live one (if not all) of my dearest dreams. I close my eyes, preparing for the most romantic moment of my life—kissing the boy of my dreams, my best friend, in the middle of the local grocery store's produce section. My heart races as I wait to feel the contact, the connection. I idly wonder if romantic music will play the second our lips meet, just like it does in the movies.

It takes a few moments before I realize that I'm not kissing anyone anytime soon as the most unromantic elevator-themed music blasts through the store's loudspeakers. In my rising anticipation, I failed to notice that the warm body I had pulled against mine was missing. I can hear him now, jabbering away about whether or not to get strawberries.

Cringing at the fact that I must look utterly ridiculous, puckering up to the row of potatoes, I slowly open an eye as if to ease the humiliation.

A glimpse of too blonde hair is all I need to send my self-esteem plummeting.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asks in mild rage. Internally, he is screaming. I can see it plainly written by the fine creases in his face. I do hope he knows that those lines will turn into wrinkles.

Secretly I wish upon him the ever-feared curse of premature aging while glancing around for an alibi. I notice that I am not, in fact, making faces at the potatoes.

"I've grown rather fond of this…corn," I respond lamely, picking up the green vegetable. Roxas raises an eyebrow. I snuggle with the ear of corn to make my story a tad more believable.

"Riku!" Sora yells in distress. Roxas's eyes widen and I turn on a sharp heel, brandishing the corn as a deadly, if not equally healthy and delicious weapon.

Sora is held captive by a man taller than myself, and I am not by any means short. His face is red as he calls for aide as the other man buries his head into my beloved's hair and inhales deeply. Rather disturbed, I charge with a war cry.

"Let him go, you fiend!"

I aim the stalk of corn at the man's face, throwing it with almost-as-good precision. It lands somewhere in the tangle of bright red spikes of hair. The man draws his head back, a look of confusion on his face.

"Did you change your shampoo?" he asks in a low murmur.

"Riku!" Sora cries again, reaching for me.

"Axel, let him go."

Upon hearing the annoyed voice, the strange man let go of Sora. Upon release, I found my arms full of trembling boy peeking shyly between the older fellow and his brother.

"Do you know him?" I voice Sora's obvious question. Roxas shoots me a glare.

"Of course he knows me!" the man responds, taking three large strides and gathering the other Strife boy up in his arms with a wicked grin. Roxas struggles visibly from his position just as his brother had. "Roxie and I are best pals, aren't we Rox? We share everything: money, popsicles, love, beds, kisses, germs…" He emphasizes his statement with a lick across Roxas's cheek.

"Ew! Axel, get off!" Roxas protests, swiping at his damp cheek. Axel gives a goofy smile and snuggles with the boy, refusing to release him.

"So you guys are friends?" Sora ventures to speak, apparently oblivious to the obvious distress Roxas is in.

"Sure, let's go with that," The redhead replies.

"Well in that case, why don't you come over to our place for dinner tonight? We're getting all the stuff for it now anyhow, so we can just make sure to buy enough for one more." Sora throws out a smile. I loosen my arms from the boy so he can go run up and greet his new in-law like I know he's dying to, but he grabs my hands and holds them in place against his stomach, his back to my front. My heart begins beating rapidly again as things begin to heat up a tad.

"Why that sounds like a grand idea!" The older male looks like Christmas has come early this year. Roxas stops struggling as a look of utter disbelief crosses his face. A slight worry crosses my mind that he has died of trauma. "How about I steal Roxie here for a bit, and bring him back around 6ish?"

"Okay!" Sora agrees with a grin.

"Alright, I'll see you around then Sora!"

Sora stiffens slightly at the fact that the stranger knows his name without introduction. He waves goodbye to them regardless as the man, Axel, literally carries Roxas away.

"Well," I say breaking the silence and taking a moment to squeeze Sora as close to me as possible, "that doesn't happen everyday."

Sora wiggles from my grasp with some effort (I really don't want to let him go…) and turns to me with a bright pink blush staining his face. My heart melts at the sight and I can't help but brush my thumb across his cheek, cupping his face.

"Er…Riku?" Sora murmurs, his eyes widening.

"You uh…" I withdraw my hand suddenly as if it burned, "dirt?" I ask.

"Right," Sora lets out a breath he's been holding, glancing down with a slight pout.

I watch him quizzically as he retrieves our temporarily abandoned shopping cart. I can't help but feel strange as he sighs and reaches into his pocket to retrieve the list he so diligently wrote out. His hand shakes slightly as he crosses off some of the items we've gathered.

"Sora?" I ask lightly. He looks at me with an almost startled expression before putting on a grin.

It's fake.

"Sora, what's wrong?" I panic, grabbing the boy by his shoulders. If he wasn't startled before, he most certainly is now.

"I…er…nothing!"

"You're a terrible liar."

Sora gives a tiny, sheepish smile that lets me know I'm right, "It's just…really nice how Roxas has someone to love him like that."

I raise an eyebrow. Sora's jealous of Roxas and that redheaded lunatic?

"I can't quite agree that Roxas returns that emotion." I point out.

"Oh, he loves it," Sora laughs, "annoyance like that is how he shows affection."

"Then he must _really_ love me." I grin. Sora punches my arm lightly.

"Don't be like that." He chides.

"Only for you." I respond honestly. Sora gives me my smile and I peck him lightly on the cheek before stealing away the shopping cart, not daring to look back at his expression as I continue, "Anyhow, you got me to love you, and that's all you _truly_ need, right? Now where are the green beans?"

**His Brother Hates Me.**

And I don't mean the one with sunbeams bursting from his pores like some sort of radiated smiley face.

No, I mean the one with the most crazed hair of the Strife family. The one with the scariest scowl that makes Roxas's look chipper in comparison. The one that looks evil while donning a flower print apron. The one that wields a spatula like it is the deadliest of weapons.

I have half a mind to pee myself and run in the opposite direction like a coward, but something about the brother's stare has me paralyzed. In the back of my mind, I wonder if I have peed myself anyhow and just have yet to notice.

I manage to glance at Roxas despite my utter terror, and notice with some shock that there is something of mine that is touching him.

Oh, is that my hand on your butt?

I take an experimental squeeze and realize that yes, that is indeed my hand, and that is also Roxas's butt. Roxas's face takes on an expression somewhere between the horror of 'oh-my-god-my-brother-just-witnessed-some-random-guy-squeeze-my-butt' and the anger of 'Axel-why-the-hell-is-your-hand-still-on-my-butt-you-absolute-nutter-?' I think there is also an 'Axel-you-are-a-beautiful-sexy-man-and-I-love-you,' but Roxas's face shuts down as he goes into a minor coma and I can't be sure.

A spatula aims itself right in my eyesight and I go a bit cross-eyed. I didn't ever realize how sharp certain cooking utensils are…

"Leave." The man hisses. I hesitate a bit and he jabs at my nose with his weapon. I react to protect my nose a second too late, and a foreign feeling comes with the spatula hit. My eyes start to water; that was hot!

I pull my hand away from my nose to see a cheery, cherry-red glob of blood greeting me. 'Hello Axel!' it says quite plainly. I frown. Blood is stupid.

"Leave, now." The older man adds another word, and I know if I don't listen, I'll have to pay for his valuable use of language. I hold both my hands up in a sign of surrender and slowly back away from the door. Idly, I wonder whether I'll fall down the stairs at some point and die.

Ah well, better then death by spatula.

As I brave another step backwards, Roxas comes back to life and calls out "Wait!" unnecessarily loud. Then he runs to me and my heart stops as he grabs my arms and drags me forward. A part of me thinks he might be dragging me back so his sibling can finish me off, but my blood is running hot and my brain is repeating 'OH MY GOD Roxas is touching me Roxas is _touching_ me Roxas is touching _me_!' so I can't really be bothered.

"He's staying for dinner, Cloud." The shorter blonde says darkly.

Then he shoves past his brother into the apartment with me in tow and I realize that I am not dead. And Roxas is still touching me. And—"OW!"—the furniture in this place has really sharp corners. My knee is going to have a nice bruise.

We go past that Sora kid and the friend he was with earlier. They have a scrabble board between them with words like "phizzle" and "shiznit." The silver-haired one stares at me while Sora tries to play "qweab" as a word.

Roxas leads me into a room with sets. Two dressers, two skateboards, two controllers for the gamestation, the only set of one is the bunk bed, but even that has two mattresses technically. I figure this is the room Roxas shares with his brother. By the light blush covering his cheeks, I estimate that my guess is correct.

"So," I grin cockily, raising my eyebrows up in down in a flirtatious manner, "which bunk is yours, and can I get acquainted with it?"

Roxas scowls and punches me lightly on the arm.

"I don't want you bleeding all over my blankets, stupid," he growls out, "just sit here and don't lick anything or something strange like that."

He gives me a warning glance before leaving me alone in the room. I'm almost tempted to lick something, but he returns before I can put my thought to action with his arms full of boxes and gauze and unlabeled bottles. I suddenly wonder what sort of state my nose is in to mandate such attention. A part of me wonders whether I'm horribly disfigured, but another part reasons that Roxas is still willing to talk to me regardless, so either I'm handsome as always, or Roxas has a thing for mutated beings. Something tells me he'd be the kind to take in a three-legged dog.

So maybe my deranged nose is like a turn on for him?

Strange, but I can live with it.

Hell, I'd shave half the hair off my head if Roxas thought it was a turn on. I'd do anything for him. Well…maybe not anything. We'd have to have a long discussion if he wanted me to do something painful to, _you know_, little Axel.

"Axel?" Roxas's voice breaks me from my inner thoughts and my heart decides to beat double-time and trip on itself. I cough slightly. That was weird.

"Hm?"

"Er…sit" he commands, and I all but throw myself on the carpeted floor.

Roxas gives me another look that makes me rethink my rash and immediate action, but the next minute he's right there kneeling in front of me with his face so close to mine and I can't move or breathe or think anymore. My eyes widen as he comes in closer and closer. He puts his warm hand on my cheek and my heart does that weird skip again. He's so close I can see the flakes of his chapped lips and feel his breath on my face and all I can smell is the hint of shampoo remains in his hair and _oh god_ he's so close I can't help but lean in to capture his lips in a quick indulgence.

But the minute I inch forward, a sharp sting fills my senses and my nose stings and my eyes water and somewhere, someone is laughing at my failure.

"Ow ow ow OWWW!" I hiss, clutching at my nose and scooting back as far away as possible from Roxas and his damp cotton ball of pain and suffering.

"Oh shush you big baby." Roxas chides with a slight smirk.

I pout and he smiles slightly so I smile slightly. Then he jabs at my nose again.

"Ow stop it!"

"Stay still or you'll make it worse."

"Could at least have warned me…"

"Be good."

So I sit still and be good as Roxas continues to dab away at my nose, his face scrunched up in utmost concentration. I'm almost turned on by the sight, except that every minor touch makes me flinch in pain and I feel disfigured and ugly. All my fantasies of playing doctor with Roxas die out (it hurts too much and Blondie isn't naked) so I try to devise a new sexy game to keep my hopes up.

Roxas stops cleaning my nose and sets to putting some goopy gel on it as I contemplate between French maid Roxas and cowboy Roxas. Five band-aides later, he lets out a soft sigh and smiles hesitantly.

"There," he near-whispers, "all done."

Something tells me I still look horrible, but I let an idiotic grin grace my face as I notice Roxas has yet to move away. I stare into his blue eyes and let out a soft "thanks" in one low breath. His fingers trace lines down my cheek as he drops his hold. It's like a spell has been broken, and feeling a tad awkward, I put on a sexy smirk to hide my embarrassment.

"So," I say, cocking a brow, "was I good?"

Roxas shrugs noncommittally.

"I guess."

"I think I deserve a reward then, don't you?"

"A reward?"

"Yeah, like a kiss or a gold star or a box of crayons or a lollipop or a kiss or a sexy picture or a balloon or a kiss or a glitter pencil or a kiss…or a kiss," I say, hoping I sound rather nonchalant about the whole thing and not too pathetic.

Roxas leans back away from me and crosses his arms. A look crosses his face that is a cross between 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me' and something I else I can't quite make out. He glances down as a red tint starts to flow onto his face.

"Rox—"

My words die in my throat as Roxas quickly darts forward and places a chaste kiss on my cheek. He lingers there for a second before pulling away, his eyes wide and scared as he analyzes me.

Whoa…

My brain goes into overdrive as my cheek goes all numb and tingly. If it were a cartoon, smoke would burst from my ears, I'm sure. I consider letting out a whoop of success, but I can't find my voice. All I can do is stare at Roxas, beautiful, lovely, amazing Roxas, in pure shock. Slowly, another moronic grin plasters my face. My brain lets out a fizz that should have alerted me not to say anything. But I don't pay attention.

"Now how about a real kiss?"

Dinner is nice, very healthy and stuff. It could be nicer though if everyone at the table would stop staring at me!

So what if my nose looks like a mummy? Blame the older blonde one. He hates me. And so what if I have a nicely blooming, fist-shaped bruise on my cheek? That's from Roxas. It's a sign that he loves me.

I see Cloud give a smile and poorly hidden thumbs-up to his younger brother as the sunshine-child stares unabashedly at the mutilated thing I once called my face. The silver-haired one coughs politely into his napkin, ignoring my pain for the favor of picking at his corn (he seems to really like it despite the glare he's giving it, seeing as his entire plate is filled with the stuff).

But then Roxas pats my hand and gives me a look that could be "Axel-you-look-beautiful-to-me-and-I-will-always-love-you." That or "could-you-please-pass-the-salt?"

I think it's the first one.

And all is right with the world again.


	3. Moreover

**The Reasons Why Liking the Strife Brothers is Wrong.**

A story told from the love struck views of misters Riku, Axel and Leon.

Author: _Musical Enigma_

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Note: Oh My Gee I got so many lovely reviews! I didn't know the story would be this popular! Bravo! Give yourselves a hand! (Think you can do it again?) On the bummerly side, there were like a bajillion more alerts than reviews. I would really enjoy a bajillion reviews…*sniff* I would have updated this sooner but school's out and decided on a few trips and then peeps were all 'NO COMPUTER' and I was all 'whaaaaat?' so yeah...that happened. Hope you all enjoy this and send me wonderful REVIEWS about how much you enjoyed it (or conspiring to kill me) So yus.

Chapter Three: In which Axel can't skate, Leon can't fight, and Riku can't think.

**Moreover.**

**He Wants Someone Else.**

I didn't believe him at first, because really, people should pale in comparison when you've got me to love. Who doesn't want a good 'ol Axel snuggle? I know I do!

"Axel, stop snuggling me."

And with an elbow to my stomach, I back away to stare at what Roxas dragged me down here to stare at. I'm not too impressed, quite frankly. I look way better than this Haynerd kid. His hair may be impressive at defying gravity, but mine beats it by like five inches in height. And he's super short. And and and green eyes are better!

I scowl and cross my arms, but Roxas paws my sleeve as he lets out a moan of utter adoration for this guy. He leans into my side with another sigh, and while I take the opportunity to slip the hand holding him under his shirt, I do not enjoy it. Or…okay, I enjoy it. But certainly not as much as I would have enjoyed it were Roxas moaning for me…

"Isn't he amazing?" Roxas cries with obvious delight as Haydork rockets out of the skating pit thing and does a triple whosamawhatsit. I'm not too good with skating terms, but Roxas is about to pee himself in sheer excitement so I guess it must be impressive.

To some. Not me.

I remove my hand from Roxas's smooth skin. It just isn't fun anymore when he's too distracted to hit me. To my surprise, he turns to look at me with pure confusion on his face.

"Were you just—?" He begins uncertainly.

"Listen Roxas," I interrupt, "its been fun, but I'm gonna go do something else now." I mutter, sticking my hands in my pockets and turning to walk away.

"Hey!" Roxas yells.

I keep walking.

"Hey!" He demands loudly.

Angry or not, my little blonde is following me. There's certainly something satisfying about having the person you've been chasing after chase you. It'd be perkier if he didn't like to stalk other guys though. That being said, I suppose I wouldn't mind if this wasn't a one-time fluke and he began to stalk me permanently…

"I SAID HEY!" Roxas roars.

I turn, preparing to give the blonde brat a good talking to about how uncool it is of him to not stalk me. I do not prepare for 100 plus pounds of boy to come flying at me at an alarming speed. And yes, I do mean flying.

"WHAT THE—?" My horrified scream turns to a prolonged groan as my head meets the sidewalk. Roxas, seemingly saved by my belly pudge, spits out a lock of his hair and crawls up my torso to grin at me. Cheeky little bugger my Roxas is. All five of him.

He pokes my belly a few times to grab my attention as the Roxas to the far left of me melds with the Roxas in the middle. He then announces with pride, "You scream like a girl."

"Urrgnng" I reply suavely, my head pounding rather viciously.

"Anyhow," he continues, "you promised you'd spend the whole day doing whatever I want with me."

Let it be noted here that the day I had envisioned involved a lot more cuddling and kissing and a lot less ogling at random kids and pain.

"So come back and help me figure out how to win over Hayner!" Roxas glares with a pointed finger headed back to the boy he's been stalking instead of me. I raise my upper half off the unforgiving cement to stare right back into those stormy blue eyes. And I pout.

"I don't want to."

Roxas stares at me like I just told him he has jellyfish arms before turning back to anger. I put on my own fearsome glare to counteract it. And then we sit. And sit. And someone steps on my fingers since we're still in the middle of the sidewalk but I still sit and my glare turns to a grimace but it's still rather glare-y so I suppose it's okay.

"I'll buy you a hotdog?" Roxas offers with a grin. I immediately turn away with the prior knowledge that a grinning Roxas usually foretells pain. He huffs, probably annoyed that I evaded his ultimate tactic.

I glance out of the corner of my eye every so often. Oh, I'm on to you, Roxie boy. You think you're so cute with your pouty lips and soft blonde hair that you keep running your hand through so I know it's soft! And stop stretching; I know you're just trying to show off your smooth slivers of pretty tummy skin. I know all of your devious tricks! I'm impervious!

And then Roxas grabs my face with both his hands and next thing I know, his chapped lips are rubbing against mine and one of his hands is slipping back to tangle itself in my—ow—I gasp and Roxas takes the opportunity to nip at then suck on my bottom lip before pulling back and…Woah.

Did I just imagine that?

"Nnngh?" I ask.

"Come on," Roxas commands as he stands up and offers me a hand. I follow him back to the skate park like a puppy, smiling giddily and wagging my…wait…

"I need him," Roxas says as he leans over the chain-link fence and going back on Hayterd watch, "but I don't know if I can do it." He looks at me with uncertainty in his big blue eyes.

"pffthuderoo," I respond with the utmost class, my mind too busy going a thousand miles per hour chanting 'OHMYGOD ROXAS KISSED ME!' to really say anything else.

Roxas gives me a funny look before sighing at the other kid again.

"Every other year he'd be mine without question. But now…" Roxas trails off, rubbing his upper arm.

Now it's my turn to give him a funny look. Just exactly how many times has Roxas wooed this kid? And why should this time be any different? I may be slightly biased, but who could resist a hottie like Roxas? Something doesn't add up. I mean, why aren't they together permanently? My heart drops. I don't want them to be together permanently...

Maybe it's just a summer fling. A late summer fling, but a finite one. Not that makes things any better but at least I'll have a chance in the fall. Three fourths of the year isn't so bad, I guess…

"Hey Roxas!" the skater kid calls, walking over with a wave.

"Hayner!" Roxas cries out in glee, running over to the boy.

Scratch sharing. I think I'll just kill this Haybird kid. It'll make things much simpler.

I follow my blonde at a more sedate pace and do not partake in the fist pumping, foot hopping adrenaline dance that the two boys do before jabbering away like excited squirrels. Hay-snot gives me a once over and winks my way. I have second thoughts on killing the Roxas-stealing jerk. He apparently has wonderful taste in men. I suppose we could configure some kind of a three-way for the summer months…

"Really?" Roxas exclaims, drawing me out of my configuration that would lead to less death and more sexy, "Hayner you're the best!" he cries, throwing his considerably hefty weight—seriously, where does he keep it all?—on the other boy in a lung crushing hug.

"What, you think I'd just ditch you?" The possibly-soon-to-be dead guy smirks.

"Well…Seifer…" Roxas trails off with a few inventive hand gestures.

"Just because Seifer and I are dating doesn't mean we gotta do everything together."

I let out a sigh of relief. So this kid is already taken. Good. That means Roxas will eventually see he has no chance, and I shall be the shoulder to cry on/rebound action. Then, in the midst of angry I-hate-Hayner sex, he'd realize he loves me deeply and we'll live happily ever after…

"Besides, if I win, he said—" the strange named boy continues, ignoring my inner plotting.

"I don't need to know!" Roxas interrupts. The other shrugs and turns his attention to me.

"So…who's your friend?" He asks, licking his lips as if I were a big juicy burger. Which I'm not. Umm… I back a tad behind my Roxas. Catching my discomfort, Roxas grabs onto my sleeve and sends a glare Hayner's direction. My hero!

"No one important." I pout at this. "Well, we gotta run. Bye." Roxas waves before tugging me away. The wavy haired kid waves back, unperturbed by the sudden exit. He does, however, manage to slip his number in my hand.

"So…" I drawl, glancing down at my blonde who still has a death grip on my shirtsleeve, "What was that about?"

"Skateboarding competition," Roxas replies, stealing the slip of paper from my grip and shredding it to pieces, "didn't think he'd be on my team again and we'd be a skater short."

He drags me a few more blocks before relinquishing my shirt. My back sighs in relief, having been walking bent over to match his height.

"So, why bring me along?" I ask, still wounded both physically and mentally (and probably psychologically) from the events of a single outing with Roxas. Can't you see my suffering, my love? Won't you kiss the aches and pains that scar my soul? Look at me!

Roxas doesn't look away from the sidewalk, too busy littering it with Hayner's number.

"Well, assuming Hayner didn't want to be on my team, I was going to use you to persuade him."

"Use me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"He has a thing for redheads."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You into redheads?" I waggle my eyebrows suggestively. Please say you like me. Please please please. It would make this entire fiasco of a day infinitely better.

He does a double take, a slight blush adorning his cheeks. It's too cute.

"They're alright." He says with a shrug. I grin.

**He Has A Lover.**

And I do wish I had been informed of this before said lover kicked down my door, broke my table, and ruined my pot roast. I'm mostly concerned about the door, though. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain that to the Home Owners Association.

Once again I'm pushed to the background as Cloud and this freakishly tall, silver haired man bicker in my living room. It's not much of a separate room though, with walls and the like, so I busy myself with picking potato slices off of the floor to avoid eavesdropping.

"You were foolish to try and be with this sad resemblance of a man. I decided shall be mine once more. So I came to get you." The man growls at my neighbor rather loudly.

There are some things, however, that just cannot be ignored, such as screaming from five feet away. I pick at a carrot that's embedded in the carpet. I hope it doesn't leave a stain.

"You can't just do that!" Cloud bellows back.

I nod in agreement from under the table. That was rather horribly rude.

But then again, it's also rather rude to agree on a dinner date when you already have a boyfriend. Even ruder when said boyfriend intrudes. I only cooked enough for two people, after all. I glare at Cloud, but he's so flustered and upset and beautiful that I can't bring myself to be mad. Sighing, I go back to the potatoes. I should have known this would go horribly wrong.

"I can do whatever I like, Strife. You're mine." The man who kicked down my door snarls in monotone.

Maybe that's my flaw. I don't express my love with such anger and blandness. I also don't go destroying property. That's Yuffie's job.

I continue to tidy up as more words are thrown between the two. Cloud seems to the point of ripping out his beautiful hair, and the other man has managed to show two whole expressions within fifteen minutes. Still hungry, I contemplate making a bowl of cereal. But then I remember I have nothing on which to eat it.

The shattered table, having been spilt in half by a rather swift, steel-toed boot, lies rather sadly on the floor. It irks me, not because I can't eat cereal now, but mostly due to the fact that it cannot be repaired by super glue. I'm no good with fixing things that can't be stuck together with super glue.

Like my door.

I scowl. I'm really, very upset about the door. Taking a huff of air, I march between the bickering couple and look up at the strange man who is at least a head taller than me. Their voices quiet down as if to hide the fact that they've been fighting. It's a nice gesture, I suppose. It'd be nicer if I hadn't had to block out their screaming because they are not in a separate room.

"You broke my door." I tell the vertically enthusiastic man. He gives a scoff and sends Cloud a look that asks if I'm for real.

"It was in my way." The intruder says in a deep voice.

I frown. I don't have that deep a voice.

So I turn and walk back into the kitchen.

There is a moment of silence before the two start going at it again. Suddenly, for possibly the first time in my life, I wish Yuffie were here.

Having anticipated a quiet dinner staring at Cloud, I sent Yuffie away for the evening. More specifically, I created a treasure map for her and told her not to come back unless she found all of the hidden jewels. The clever part is that there are no jewels to be found.

I pat myself on the back for such cunning before remembering that I need the brat. Damn.

Admitting defeat, I unhook the phone from its holder on the wall and dial Yuffie's cell. It doesn't even ring once before I hear her obnoxious voice on the line.

"I found a turtle!" She greets happily.

"Eurg…" I sigh, having second thoughts on calling. A crash from the other room—probably the lamp—convinces me to stay on the line, just a little longer.

"Squallie-Wally-Molly-Polly, is something wrong?" She sings. A metallic clanking in the background leaves me to assume she has procured a shovel.

"Mm." I answer.

"Weeeeeell I haven't found all your treasure that the pirates stole yet..." I can almost hear the apology in her voice.

"Oh." I stare at the wall. I was sort of hoping she'd come over and beat up this guy for me.

"So I can't really just come over and beat up someone for you," She continues. I do a double take at the phone. "But I can teach you some of my moves."

"Mm." I grunt.

While Yuffie goes into detail, more of my household items meet their end. More specifically, my potted plant breaks and leaves dirt on the carpet, the DVD holder gets smacked off the wall, and the remote has a particularly angry butt squash it to death.

"Finally, you want to elbow them into the—uh oh," Yuffie cuts off as voices are heard behind her, yelling. An old man's voice calls out from amidst the cacophony 'stop digging in our backyard you weirdo!' I pinch my nose and sigh as Yuffie hangs up on me. I hope there's still enough money in the bank to bail her out of jail. Again.

Going over my cousin's advice in my head, I walk back to the bickering couple. Cloud shoots me an apologetic look, but I ignore it in favor of holding out my hand to greet the newcomer. The man is slightly baffled by the gesture, but he clasps my fingers in a strong grip. I try my best to match it, but apparently his digits have six-packs where as mine have flub.

I frown slightly at my fatty fingers and promise to put them on a diet before going over Yuffie's words. So I should just twist my wrist and… He doesn't flip over. He doesn't even flinch. He doesn't move in the slightest. I curse my gluttonous fingers.

"Oh, how cute. He's trying to flip me over." The man laughs loudly.

"Seph—!" Cloud yells in a frightened voice. I turn my head to inquire why he's scared, but the world turns with me and soon I'm flat on my back where the coffee table used to be (we had to get rid of it because the corners were to sharp and Yuffie kept smacking her face into it).

I glare at the now even taller man from the floor. There's dirt on my jeans from the broken plant. I just washed these jeans.

"How foolish of you to think you could trick me." The man says with a kick to my stomach. I double over in pain, wheezing heavily. Then he kicks me to my head and my world erupts in pain and everything seems rather dizzy, and fuzzy. And Cloud's hair looks even fluffier than usual…

"Leon!" Cloud drops down beside me, dirtying his pants as well, "Leon stay with me now!" Well, I certainly don't plan on going anywhere. I do live here, after all. He lifts my head from its spot on the floor, cradling it in his arms. His long, strong fingers run themselves through my hair. Why does everyone else have strong fingers?

"How pathetic." The uninvited man sneers. The blonde glares up at him, but doesn't move from my side.

"YOU!" A myriad of voices call from the hallway.

"ME!" Yuffie cries, rolling into the room.

I close my eyes and subtly attempt to bury myself deeper into Cloud's stomach. This is not happening.

"It's—!" A shaky voice calls in.

"Alright sir, you are under arrest for evasion of the law" A stronger voice calls. Still hiding in Cloud, I assume they're talking to the stranger in my living room.

"You'll never catch me!" Cloud's boyfriend cries overdramatically. I peek to see him inching towards the back wall, "You will be mine, Cloud," He announces with a particularly creepy glare before launching himself outside my window.

"After him!" Yuffie cries running after the psycho door killer and leaping from the window as well.

I sigh and bury my head back into Cloud.

The pounding of numerous boots informs me that the police have also left, but prefer to take the stairway exit in lieu of the window. And suddenly it's quiet once more.

"Who was that guy?" I ask, breaking the silence and referencing the wacko who jumped from my window.

"He was my boyfriend. Not anymore though. I'm single. And have a restraining order against him." Cloud informs me.

"Oh."

Then he stands, leans over, and scoops me up into his arms. And suddenly, my life is really weird again. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought a man shorter than me, the one I'm attempting to woo, would be carrying me. I frown a bit at my utter loss of dignity.

"My door is broken." I tell Cloud mournfully, unsure of what to say in such a situation. He chuckles and brushes some strands of hair from my face.

"I'll fix it." He says. I nod in approval as he sets me down gently on my bed, as if I might break.

"If he ever comes back, I'll hurt him. I'll protect you." I say in all seriousness.

Cloud gives me a sweet smile and I all but melt into a puddle of goo. His face draws in closer to mine. I idly wonder whether I should have eaten a mint or something in preparation of such closeness. But no intense snogging happens. Rather he drops a small kiss on my nose before pulling away.

"I know you will. My hero."

**He Likes Girls.**

And they like him back. A lot. I swear if it weren't for Sora I would not hang around any of these clingy, annoying, giggling, boob-ed creatures.

I stare moodily at my rapidly melting frappuccino as Sora and the girls blabber away at each other in an animated fashion. Any other day I'd be perfectly fine with accompanying Sora to wherever his heart desired—preferably somewhere with an abundance of storage closets that we could escape to should the sudden need for some intense kissing arise—but as you may have deduced, today is not "any other day." No, today is Kairi-throwing-herself-all-over-Sora day.

And I do not like it.

Ever the messy eater, Sora manages to make only half of his cookie into his mouth, the other half littering his gorgeous face. There's a spot right by his mouth speckled with chocolate that needs some cleaning. But what a waste of a napkin, when I could just lick it off for him. And I suppose since some crumbs probably managed to get down his shirt, he'd have to take that off to brush them away. What a waste of cookie… Maybe I should offer to lick those off for him too?

But just as I open my mouth to voice my environmentally friendly suggested methods of cleansing, Kairi plops herself down on his lap with an annoying giggle.

"Oh Sora," she chides, much to her female friends' delight who join her in a round of tittering.

My ears are about to bleed from it all, but that's not the worst of it because next Kairi makes a few clucking noises before taking her index finger to wipe off the chocolate smudge by Sora's mouth. Then with an audible pop, she sticks her chocolate-coated finger in her mouth and makes a yummy "mmm" noise with a wink thrown out to her audience.

My fists clench. I can't take it anymore.

The chair screeches back as I stand abruptly. Four pairs of eyes stare at me, and I realize that I don't have a plan of action. I also realize that Sora is so embarrassed by Kairi's affection that he has turned a bright pink. Normally, the effect of this deer-in-the-headlights look would make my heart want to pop from the sheer adorability of it all. But then again, normally Sora doesn't have a lap full of girl. In my opinion, they cancel each other out.

"Riku?" Sora asks timidly.

I look to the floor. I have to control myself. But it hurts so bad to see him like that, confirming that he's not mine, that he'll never be mine. Slowly inhaling a large breath of air to calm myself, I grit my teeth and let out something distantly related to a smile. By the look on Kairi's face, it's not very appealing.

"I have to go. See you guys later." I mutter and turn stiffly, trying with all my might not to run from the coffee shop crying like a little girl. I make it out the door before sprinting away as fast as I can. It's not until I've run for three blocks that I belatedly realize some important key facts:

1. The walls of the coffee shop consist of windows.

Everyone totally just saw me run off like a total nutcase. More importantly, Sora just saw me run off like a total nutcase. So much for being the cool, older friend…

Stupid coffee shop and its stupid windows!

2. I left my coffee there.

My poor coffee, cast aside, just sitting there, all alone. Turning slowly to watery mush while everyone else ignores it. Snubbed in favor of everyone clambering over Sora to lick stupid cookie bits off his face.

Stupid coffee and its stupid reflective similarities!

I sit down on a nearby bench to sulk for my loss of dignity and caffeine (and also to think up new adjectives). I groan, burying my hands in my hair. That was not the best escape plan in the world. A lump of tears situates itself in my throat. Now Sora's going to think I'm insane and stop hanging out with me and I'll never get to see his beautiful smile or hear his incredibly lame jokes or hold him during scary movies or figure out a way to subtly kiss him properly with it seeming totally platonic…

Stupid me and my stupid...stupidity.

"Excuse me, have you seen my best friend? He just sprinted off this way for no apparent reason, even though he promised me I could stay at his place tonight."

I cringe a little and glance through my peripheral vision to see Sora relaxing beside me on the bench, staring off into the night sky. When did he get here?

"I can't imagine where he ran off to." Sora continues, as if he carried on one-sided conversations all the time. He does, in case you were wondering.

"Maybe he got kidnapped." He continues in his off-handed manner.

Holding my breath to prevent bursting into a fit of giggles, I glance at him again to see that he's sneaking peeks at me. His blue eyes quickly avert themselves, a small grin on his face.

"Maybe he's a super hero and had to rise to the call of duty." I comment. Sora snorts into a round of laughter.

"He's more of a damsel in distress than a knight in shining armor." He replies without hesitation.

My head shoots up and I turn to him, my eyes wide with disbelief. The sadness I felt a moment earlier transforms into indignant anger. "I am not!"

"Oh Riku, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Sora cries with pseudo-relief. He then climbs onto my lap and straddles me before wrapping himself over my torso in a hug and fake sobs into my shoulder. "Do you know how worried I've been, young man?"

I roll my eyes at his antics as a small, warm feeling in my chest makes itself known.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. They'll roll right out of your head." Sora chides, knowing without seeing that I had, and administers a light slap to the back of my skull.

I chuckle and return the hug, wrapping my arms around the smaller boy. It feels nice, being smothered by Sora. My heart flutters a little feeling his chest rise in rhythm with mine, his breath tickling the base of my neck. Even when people walking by give us strange looks and my legs fall asleep, it's still completely worth it to have Sora so close.

"Riku?" Sora murmurs quietly into my ear, sending shivers up my spine and sparking the warm, arousing feeling near the pit of my stomach into overdrive. I bite my lip to hold back what would certainly be a questionable moan.

"Hn?" I respond in a soft, ragged breath, squeezing him a bit tighter.

"I have to pee."

The stimulating feeling vanishes as I drop my hold on the younger boy. You have got to be kidding me. Sora stands to do a jig in the middle of the sidewalk in assurance that no, he is not.

I sigh and stand up. My legs, still dead, do not cooperate and I land painfully on the cement, much to Sora's amusement.

Ten minutes and a bathroom break later, we arrive at my house. Sora sprints inside with all the energy of a puppy, and I trail behind him, still feeling a bit moody at having been pushed aside in favor of a Barnes and Nobles restroom. Not that we could have really gotten up to anything naughty on a public bench. Not that Sora has any feelings of affection for me…

Sora, apparently deciding that I am moving too slow, grabs my hand and starts talking about something or other. I don't pay attention. I'm more concentrated on the hand that is captive in his. A spark of hope ignites itself in my chest. I wish it would die.

"Hey Riku, can I borrow a change of clothes?" Sora asks once we reach my room.

I nod, and soon he's burying himself in my dresser. Deciding to focus on more platonic things, I turn on the television and sort through some DVDs to watch. After a moment's contemplation, I turn around with a movie selection in each hand.

"Hey Sora, which—"

My voice dies somewhere in my throat. A small part of me tells me to turn away, but I can't. My eyes absorb every inch of Sora's perfectly tanned, fit torso down to his lean, muscular legs. They stop in particular on a certain area clad by Mickey Mouse boxers. I swallow a particularly thick layer of spit as my brain shuts down.

I don't remember it being this hot in here before…

"Riku?" Sora asks. I slowly drag my eyes to his face. Vocabulary escapes my knowledge, so I make a small, indecipherable noise in the back of my throat. Nice one Riku, super classy. Sora raises an eyebrow, a smirk covering his face.

"See something you like?" He winks saucily. My heart stops at this new, extremely alluring side of my best friend. I nod dumbly in response. Please please please let that be an offer to ravish you! I want to taste that perfect skin, lick his perfect body, kiss those perfect lips…

Sora doesn't see my agreements as he pulls one of my too-long shirts over his head, obscuring his vision. It is quickly followed by a too-long pair of sweats. And once again, my hopes are crushed. He then toddles over, tripping a few times on the pant legs.

"Oh, let's watch that one!" He says excitedly, completely oblivious to the mind-blowing he just gave me. I simply stare at him, unable to do anything else. Sora gives a familiar grin that makes me grin back.

"You got a bit of drool there." He giggles before taking the DVD from my hand and putting it into the player. I wipe the side of my mouth with the back of my hand, still in a trance. The opening shot of the movie plays as Sora cuddles against me, his head on my thighs. Unthinkingly, my hand goes to run itself through Sora's soft strands of hair.

"I'm gay," I announce, also unthinkingly.

The world freezes. My hand stops guiding itself through Sora's hair in favor of clasping it over my mouth seconds to late. The pace of my heart and breath increase drastically. What the hell? What on earth possessed me to say a thing like that? Traitorous mouth and its words!

But Sora takes my hand and settles it back on his head in a silent plea to keep massaging it.

"I know," he says softly.

My chest feels like a heavy weight has been lifted, one I didn't know I had been carrying. My love for this boy increases, if that's even possible. He shifts to look up at me from my lap, his face lit from the blue TV screen, a small smile on his face. He opens his mouth to speak, and my heart leaps, miles ahead of him. He's gay too! And he loves me! Right?

"So, can I braid your hair?"


End file.
